There is Nothing New. No Really.

When a friend and I were vacationing in Miami, we happened upon a delightful advertisement in the back of one of those vacation guides in the hotel lobby. It was an ad for the World Erotic Art Museum (WEAM) (Note: They do have a website and because I am a decent deviant, I cannot in all good conscience link it to this page.) Google it. It’s worth it.) Since I ADORE the arts (Stop laughing. Stop it now), you know I had to go. It was going to be the event of the season.

From that experience, I was certain of four things. First, whenever I go out of town, I will be reading the vacation guides intently. Second, whenever I go to Miami, I am going there being a patron of the arts and all. (Stop laughing, I mean it). Third, it is really an actual museum. They have actual exhibits: paintings, sculptures, photographs, ceramics, glasswork, woodwork and even props from movies. (Not those kinds of movies, Pervy McGee.) Fourth, there is nothing new under the sun. No fetish or act, desire or position. In all of its splendid incarnations, the only thing that seems to change are the inventions and the hairstyles and occasionally the dress.  (Note: I’m only referring to acts among consenting adults in tandem with foodstuffs, appliances (household or otherwise) and a trained monkey. You know .To run the camera. Duh. Okay maybe not the monkey but you get the idea.) Now I know you are wondering what does all this have to do with this blog?

Fanny Hill.

Fanny Hill is the reason.  The novel, Memoirs of a  Woman of Pleasure, more famously known as Fanny Hill, by John Cleland  is one of THE BEST erotic novels I’ve ever read. And believe me, I’ve read plenty. It begins with a 15 year old  Fanny trying to find fortune in London. While waiting in the employment office, she is approached by a “refined lady” who needed a “servant”. Unbeknownst, to dear sweet Fanny she embarks on a journey of lust, passion, debauchery, and ultimately true love. Well, after she has done just about everything you can…..well with everyone. Because, after all, deep down it is a love story. Well, if you find a lady of the evening selling her sweets to the gentlemen of London and then reuniting with her first true love and lover romantic. (Hey it’s possible….love knows no boundaries but it may want to get tested. Just saying).

I LOVE the writing because it has all the dirtiness but it is done in a proper dignified manner. If your mind was a little less filthy, it could have been mistaken for one of those British novels you had to suffer through in school. (Unless you liked the British novels you had to read in school, then my bad. Personally, I didn’t care for them that much. We never really read any of the good stuff.)  This novel is so crammed with decadent ,steamy, and sometimes humorous interludes that it is busting at the seams with delicious naughtiness.  Now my fine ladies and gentlemen, if you are patrons of the arts as I am (Stop laughing. This the last time I am going to say it.), you simply must read this novel. Not to do so would be a disservice to you. (Oh and Google, the World Erotic Art Museum. Its worth it.)

As I end this blog I wanted to leave you with some EXTRA naughty  words that I found in this novel. (Well, in the way that the author uses it) Enjoy.

“hillocks”, “mount-pleasant”, “cleft”, “maiden-toy”, “capital part of man”, “steed”, “maypole”, “instrument”, “powerful summons”, “excrescence”,”pleasure -conduit”, “oversized- machine”, “the avenue”, “lodgement”, “balsamic injection”.

Good Night.


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